What Women Want?
How do women really feel about gay men? Although, I am a heterosexual guy, a lot of men complain that woman love gay men. Straight men say that women love gay men because they can shop with them, or be friends with them without the man wanting to have sex with them. Many women say gay men are gorgeous and “hot’ because they dress well, work out, and keep fit, and have great personalities.
This confuses me, and I’m not alone here. There are websites and blogs belonging to outspoken male rights activists, angry men who have written about how they hate women and have cut them out of their lives; perhaps they have given up on the opposite sex. And then there are women who read this and accuse men of being “faggots” or “gay” but how can they love their hot, in shape, funny gay best friends one minute and the next minute attack men for entertaining a life philosophy without women?. I thought women were not bigoted against gay men, the way straight men certainly can be. Are women deeply threatened by a growing number of men who do not desire them? Certainly this hatred of women will illicit some cruel name calling, but what scares women more, a thriving gay community of men who are not attracted to them or straight men deciding to boycott the opposite sex. Have women become so difficult that more and more men are considering a world without them?
I mean, we are all familiar with a few of the age-old stereotypes: women complain that men are pigs and that all they think about is having cold, emotionless sex, they don’t know how to really love or nurture a woman. Men complain that women are cock-teasers, dressing sexy to have a certain effect, and then using sex to control a man. So what intrigues me is that gay men seem to be free of all of this back and forth. No matter how sexy, beautiful, or nice a women is, these men don’t give them a second look because they are gay. Even though women can be “fag-hags”, claiming that they love their gay friends, are they also secretly threatened by gay men because they have no sexual pull? There are effeminate men, macho muscle guys, ”twinks”, “bears”, “tops” and “bottoms” all in an elaborate buffet of man on man sexual preferences. But do gay men hate women? Maybe the real question is what is the effect that this gay world has on women? Some might argue that it is more respectful to hate women, or make them effectively irrelevant, then to stick them in the kitchen or treat them like sex objects.
How does a women feel about dating a bi-sexual man, someone who has been in both worlds? Perhaps women fear that a man could “turn out to be gay”, so is it better to date someone who is open about the possibility of being attracted to both? Of course, there is much less of a stigma against women who are attracted to other women. Straight guys have turned ladies who love ladies into the ultimate sexual fantasy, the typical dude would probably jump up and down if he found two women making out in his living room. What would happen if a woman found out her boyfriend watches gay porn or fantasizes about other men? I have a feeling like most women would be taken aback for at least a moment if her boyfriend got it on with another man.
If women really believe that men are “dogs” obsessed with sex, maybe its really a fear of male lust. Men’s sexual drive is a force to be reckoned with and it’s threatening whether it’s a promiscuous gay man, a cheating husband, or an aggressive guy at a bar. There’s a feeling that men are controlled by their sex drive, and that it has to be in check. Women may be wary of the consequences, they may also have little or no sexual power if male lust changes it’s course away from them. Is the real power in unbridled sexual lust or in manipulation and control? And who is winning in this tug of war, the power of love or the love of power?