Let’s Just Be Friends?

Sam sent me this link to Sofiastry’s blog on Male/Female friendships:


He asked me what I thought soooo….

I think she has some valid points here.  There is a sexual energy between men and women that exists whether we call it love, friendship, friends with benefits, or whatever.  I work with a girl at my bar who goes out with guys who are her “friends” and flirts it up with them.  I don’t think that either party thinks that any kind of real fucking will ever occur, but they both enjoy the chemistry and trust themselves enough that they can rule infidelity out.  For some perverse reason, after being in a very loving relationship for three years, I often find myself treating other men with the same energy that I give my boyfriend.  Really, just because it feels familiar and honest and kind of nice.  Is there some attraction between me and friend guys who are getting a certain vibe off of me?  Sure.  But I don’t think either of us confuse it as anything more.

I’m not skeptical of male/female friendships, I think they are real and they can sustain for a whole bunch of reasons.  Maybe they actually are NOT attracted to each other or maybe they have a different connection than with their significant other.  Maybe there’s a little bit of polyamory in all of us.  And yes, if I broke up with my boyfriend, chances are I probably would fuck one of my guy friends.  Does that make the friendship false, I don’t think so.


One response to “Let’s Just Be Friends?”

  1. samuel2112 says :

    Laura commented on Whether a man and woman can be friends. Laura you said you are not skeptical of male and female friendships. Well I am skeptical. That does not mean I am not open to seeing the validity of a man and woman being friends. You mentioned the “sexual energy” between men and women. Yes That is the problem. However, I my older brother growing up and still to this day has many women friends and he is married.

    I am open to being friends with a woman. If there is no “sexual energy” or “chemistry” then it is a nice platonic friendship between genders.Very cool.
    However this the caveat for me.It depends on the level of friendship you are looking for, casual drinking buddy type friends with women is possible. True best friends, it’s rare because men and women don’t have a “line” separating them from crossing over into something more. I’ve never seen a case of a true platonic friendship between men and women because of the expectations society has and such relationships leading to marriage.

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